Blog three. kickin it in to overdrive!

Hey guys. So I hate memorizing shit. So instead I'm here for you, plowing away. Spitting the truths of fashion shows, trends and fashion that I love and whatever else I talk about in this thing... Does anybody know? Does it matter? Who's with me? Okay. well I'll soldier on without you then! Who needs a posse?!?!?!!?

So lets kick it old school style or something, for beginsies. Fashion show time!!!
SO in this episode I'm gonna gush about a favorite Designer of mine, and Dita Von Teese and Lady Gaga, (the three of us being the trifecta of how you know if a designer is a-may-zing-,) none other than, Mr. Jean Paul Gaultier. And for the first time in Superficial Fodder history, I'm gonna talk about a couture line!!! It's time, guys, ready to wear isn't nearly as batshit crazy as fashion can be, and couture can be pretty tame, just trust me. So this line, all about Hollywood glamour. From when? Well... Kind of just in general. There are clear nods to silver screen starlets from across decades from Brigitte Bardot to a few things that could very well be Lindsay Lohan. So, clearly, the message wasn't quite so clear. But the clothes! The clothes were drop dead piss your pants fall on the floor and vomit poop and cry all at the same time beautiful. That was a lot of bodily functions, so I'm gonna let you recover from that. ... and stop picturing it. And come back. Okay. So this collection has everything you could ever want. From fierce strong suits, to fabby corsets and onesies, to beautiful glamazon dresses, to several pairs of overalls that were surprisingly chic. So arguably this collection had something for everybody, but personally the lack of story or coherence detracted from the show as a whole. I love every individual piece, but I want a story that goes with them, and there just wasn't one.

here's a link to the slide show. check out the whole thing!!

http://www.style.com/fashionshows/complete/slideshow/F2009CTR-JPGAULTI/

Friends, near and far, close and ... far... At any rate.... One of the unifying themes of the majority of my lady friends, the inspiration for this blog of fashion mouth farts, is that you all have a hippie streak. From earthy colors to floral sun dresses, strappy flats and blouses with ethnic nods, almost all of you, specifically all of my old, deep friends are flower children at heart. So as an homage to all of you out there in dreamland, I give you the trend called FOLK!

So here's what's amazing about folk. Folk is everything you old hippies love with elegant vintage details. Think Russian babushka embroidery and delicate filigree jewelry paired with all your favorite hippie garb and you've got a smart chic and fiscally responsible look! Now, the reasons why it's even more fiscally responsible is, that the pieces can totally transition from winter to spring to summer to fall so effortlessly that it's practically irresponsible to not have at least a few stand by fashionista folk pieces.

So since I'm not talking about an item of interest, but rather a look as a whole, I'm going to tell you about the best way to put together a folky outfit, some important pieces to have in your folk wardrobe instead.

Now, folk looks are all about layering patterns and textures. Good fabrics and textures for this look are velvets and suede, soft leathers, chunky knits, silks, ginghams, stiff cottons and fur. I know you all, and as far as I know, I only have one friend who wears real fur, and she doesn't even read this, so I'm going to just say that of course, vegan versions of these materials are tot's fine, as long as they don't look to plastic.

Alot of people are afraid of mixing patterns, so here are my rules: size; the size and boldness of the patterns you are wearing should be approximately equal to your size, for example, if you are tall go for big patterns, if you are petite go for smaller ones. If your bottom half is bigger than your top half, then bigger patterns on the bottom are approps. etc. Color; the colors of the patterns you are mixing should compliment each other. They don't have to be exact, but there should be at least one or two colors that carry over from one pattern to the next. Also, for this look, stay away from too many blacks. They tend to be harsh, and no one wants there mellow to be harshed in this look. Go for browns and grays for this look. Type; don't mix a pattern with another of the same type, for example, you shouldn't mix two florals. Or two plaids, or two stripes. (this is the only rule I will support you fudging, if you know what you're doing. I do it all the time.) So go wild! Wear your velvet embroidered waist coat with your lacy cardigan and your earthy brown floral dress with plaid trim with your striped tights and suede boots. You'll look fierce!

folk interpretation by zamills featuring Missoni

Lets talk about pieces, shall we?

First off, boots. No not uggs. Burn those. Few things are more unattractive on your foot than an Ugg. I mean crocs. duh... but for realsies. NO UGGS. Flat boots are tots fine. Here's what you're looking for; your boots should be made of something comfortable and not too fussy. like suede or warn leather, even fabric if you want. Look for boots with Victorian inspired details, laces are obviously a nice touch, maybe some embroidery. If that's not your thing, work boot styles work too. like the one in the above arrangement. Oxfords in the same materials are also super approps for this look.

Next; dresses. Here's the deal. This look is super casual and super comfortable. Your dresses do not need to be super fitted. In fact, the more layered and loose your clothes are the better for this particular look. Also, your dresses should be longer. if you're worried about looking short, then knee length is fine, but otherwise go for mid calf if not ankle length. This is a really good place to get some pattern in, and I encourage some lovely vintage florals or even paisleys. If you think the pattern looks tablecloth-y, then you're going in the right direction.

Jewelry. This is the easiest way to turn your hippie garb into folk. Find super ornate jewelry, like long oval stone rings, or carved wood bangles. The juxtaposition of natural or rough materials with super detailed settings or delicate chains are an awesome way to go. At Banana Republic they have a beautiful raw amethyst necklace that is excellent for this look. Also, more is more for this look. Don't be afraid to wear some ethnic bangles, three rings, five necklaces and some ear rings. It's taking you there. And, you can't hardly look fussy in this look.

Lastly outerwear. Like I said this is a layered look, and the more details your pieces have the better. Look for outside stitching, and of course, the ever coveted, embroidery. Jackets lined with sheerling, or fur are great. Stay away from anything that looks synthetic. No puffy jackets please! Your old warn denim jacket is perfect for this look as well.

Like I mentioned before, this look transitions super duper well. You can take off some of the heavier layers and switch out your boots for flats, and you're ready for spring.

So be bold! Or chill rather, and try it! here's some other pieces I love that fit this look!!

folk dresses 4 ways by zamills featuring Anna Sui

So now for people. People I find stylish. Well, as I've already spent a lot of time reminiscing, why not go there, with an old friend while I'm at it. Sydney. So for those of you who don't know her, Sydney was the first girl I demanded grow an inch and win ANTM. She's absolutely stunning. She has beautiful blue eyes and super cute dark hair, and fashion sense by the bucket load. She understands how to juxtapose casual with formal. Lady like with bad ass and smart with pretty. Back in the day, she spearheaded movements like Stepford Wife Wednesday(? I'm not sure if that's the right day) where her and my Frasier girls would all dress in there best fifties dresses and pearls. Her aqua blue and orange swirl dress never got tired, and she made those cardigans work for her. She's so stylish and so stunning and also the person who taught me how to make a hideous face. So My hat goes off to miss lady friend Sydney. Way to be.

That's my show thanks for watching!!!! GOOOD NIGHT!

Goes Gaga For Gaga

Hi friends!! So those of you who follow me on twitter, and or know me in real life, you know that my obsession with a certain magical Lady supersedes almost everything else I hold sacred. She is my shining beacon of hope that the world isn't as shitty as it proves to be every day. Her music makes life worth living, and her fashion choices make living exciting. She really goes there and nothing makes me happier than a Lady who goes there. I am, of course, speaking of none other than Lady Gaga. In honor of the release of her latest music video; a paragon of performance art, I'm devoting this whole blog to Gaga and the Haus.






So first, lets talk. Alexander McQueen Spring 2010 RTW. I know what those of you who aren't in the know are thinking, "But Zach, you said this whole thing was to be devoted to Patron Saint Gaga, and now you're talking about His Highness McQueen! Those aren't the same people!!" to which I reply, shut up bitches. Not only did Lady Gaga premier the final version of Bad Romance in McQueen's show, Gaga wears McQueen throughout the Bad Romance Video. Also, the theme of the new Lady Gaga tour is evolution, just like the theme of this show!!!! So suck it! Like I said the theme of this show, was evolution, and that was cool. The plan was to simultaneously broadcast it live on the web, but a Gaga tweet nipped that in the bud, making the website they were going to use crash with overuse. Okay listen, I thought this show was interesting, and I love that Gaga was a part of it, and I think that the lobster claw shoes were fabby, but I, and the critics at Style.com agree, that it was kind of one note. The main way he wanted to tell his story was with voluminous cinched-waist dresses using admittedly absolutely fabulous digitally printed fabrics. But over all, it was a bit boring. I love McQueen, but this just didn't do it for me.

Here's a link to a slide show of the McQueen show. Check it out! If you disagree with me, stick it in your eye!
http://www.style.com/fashionshows/complete/slideshow/S2010RTW-AMCQUEEN/

NEXT: In the spirit of Gaga lets talk about a trend. Dark lipstick, Gaga wears it! So can you!!!

dark lipstick by zamills on Polyvore.com

SO here's the deal. Dark lipstick is amazing. It makes you look super chic even if you're just wearing a t shirt and jeans. YES YOU CAN DO THAT! Now, here are the qualifications. If you're worried about your lips being too thin, dark lipsticks are probably not for you. If you choose to to do a dark lip, that's your focus. Unless you want to look like a HTM, do not do a dark smokey eye, and a dark lip and super rouged cheeks. Unless you are a drag queen. In which case, go balls out! Or tucked in rather. Because they're drag queens... Get it? No? okay... It's because they don't want to show their balls. Because they're performing female gender... Still confused? I said go balls out... At any rate. Here's how to make your dark lips look great. The idea of dark lips is to showcase the shape of one's lips. You will have to line your lips. Some ladies are afraid of this, added step, but if you take the time to do it, the pay off is great. Another advantage to lining your lips is that you can correct/even out anything that isn't symmetrical. Lining will prevent feathering, Even if you don't think you have wrinkles for the lipstick to run into, you do, so line your lips, you don't want your lips to look blurry! DO NOT over-line your lips. If you feel that they are especially pouty, feel free to under-line them, but don't over-line them. Also, make sure that the liner you use is the same color or as close as possible to the lipstick you are using. We don't want to make you look more like a chola then you already do. I suggest you use your liner as a base and color in your whole lip, because it will give the lipstick something to hold on to. Do not get shiny or glittery lipsticks. Anything "wet look", is a no go. You want a matte or satin finish. It's More grown up, more now, and that's the point of a trend. Also, choose a shade that compliments your skin color. If you're pale you can go for the darker colors, but if you're darker, go for more saturated colors. Trendy colors range from cranberries to dark feuschas to deep purples, and even black, and if you're gutsy enough, and not going to be mistaken for a goth, I say go for it sister. I personally like the burgundies. they're pretty much universally flattering as far as skin goes, and the most wearable. Now like I said, you can wear your dark lipstick super casually, but clearly it also translates quite swimmingly to evening. It's a very strong look and I have faith in all of you little budding fashionistas out there to do this up to the best of your abilities.

reason # 11 by zamills featuring Yves Saint Laurent

So Gaga. Fashion Icon of my life? Yes. She's daring and whimsical and fierce and ironic and smart and parody and fashion. I love all of them. Okay not all of them. In the beginning of her fame, she was a little rough. the exploding prism dresses weren't so bad but her clumpy mascara was... But you know what, with a bit of money and a bunch of creative people, whom she calls the Haus of Gaga (like a fashion hous, or the factory ala Andy Warhol) she's worked it out. HARD. I love all of it. I love the Kermit jacket, I love the face nest, I love her bat hat, and her orbits. I'm all about all of it. 100%. In addition; sunglasses. Gaga has solidified my thesis that giant sunglasses will make you look glamorous regardless of what else is going on.

This guy is directly involved with the creation of Gaga outfits, and you should check out his blog!! He talks about all of the fashions in the bad romance video!http://nicolaformichetti.blogspot.com/

Here are some doozies!!

So for those rockstars out there, who want the all the glory, here's a more realist interpretation of a Gaga Rockstar look. Some may argue, myself included, that turning down Gaga, is blaspheming. But I'd give you snaps for trying.

bad girl pink by zamills featuring Azzedine Alaia shoes

So now that I got that out of this whole Gaga vomit out of my system... I can write about her again in like four to six weeks!! Listen, I'm aware that my obsession with her boarders on unhealthy. I get it. But she's plain old Merlin's beard magical in my book. What does that even mean.... At any rate. I'm glad that I gushed this to you all. You know. All both of my readers. (eddie doesn't count. he's just following this for kicks and giggles)

SO THANKS AMIGOPS!!!! See you next time!

Maiden Voyage

Hi Friends!! So, here's the deal. Today, in a whole new circle of procrastination hell,I finally started reading my friends blogs, and in the midst of what was going to be a rant about how self absorbed bloggers were, and who cares what these assholes think, and this is worse then those dickwads with twitters, I thought, wait... I'm self absorbed! I think people care! I have a twitter! Clearly its time for me to join the twenty second century and start a real blog, not like my myspace blog that has all my poetry about how much I was in love with Justin Adams... A blog that's not too personal, or to real. But what on earth could little old me possibly write about? I don't know anything about anything, and whats worse, I don't care! So clearly the only place for me to go was to start a fashion blog. Obvi! Right? So here's my schtick; I'm gonna write about fashion I love, how to pull of trends, and people, both real and famous, who have great style. Sound interesting? ...I'm gonna pretend like I didn't hear your verbal response. Asshole.

hip fun colorful by zamills featuring Vivienne Westwood Red Label dresses

But before we even get started on any of that, I'd like to start things off by explaining my thoughts on style. I honestly believe that style is something that you are born with. It's not about clothes or how attractive you are, or labels or any of that nonsense. Trends pishtosh! Style is something within you. It's how you construct your persona, and I honestly find nothing more interesting than that. Some folks don't believe that how you present yourself matters, but it says more about you than you know. Think the Miranda Priestly rant about the color cerulean in the Devil Wears Prada. That's basically what Stacy and Clinton do on What Not to Wear, create a new persona for people who are stuck in a rut. I love the transformative nature of clothes. What you wear tells someone who you are before you can.

SO, now that I got that little chunk of word vomit out'ma system, lets move on, shall we!

Firstsies; Fashion I love!
Lets talk; John Galliano's 2010 Spring RTW Line! For those of you who haven't heard me gush about the magnificence that was this show, be forewarned. I'm completely enamoured by everything happening in it. SO trends in the fashion world right now are pointing towards a renewal of the fashions in the twenties thirties and forties, which, I love. For me this time represents the beginning of women's liberation; with the twenties being the beginning of women's sexuality, and moving forwards towards the strength of women in the forties with the whole "Rosie the Riveter" thing. Also, the twenties is the beginning of Hollywood glamour. Galliano takes all of this in stride, in a fantastic runway show where he aims to comparethe transition from silent films into talkies to today's change from where we are now into a new age of technology. Now, the clothes are amazing. Super glamorous and, in my opinion, super wearable. Very unique. The make up is fabulous, totally twenties beautiful dark underlined bowed lips and noir eye makup, fabby hair and not one look hits a bad note. But my favorite part is the smoke-bubble machine that blows bubbles filled with smoke that pop on clothes and the runway making little wisps. UGGGGGGGGGG FAB!
here's a link to a slide show of the show!! (show show show)
http://www.style.com/fashionshows/complete/slideshow/S2010RTW-JNGALLNO/

ZWEI; TRENDS. YAY!!
So This week's trend is le Boyfriend Blazer!! Here's why its great: it adds a hint of irreverence to whatever you're wearing, it inspires an image of strength, and it breaks down gender barriers within clothing. In a sense, it's kindof like a motorcycle jacket (which I also love) but much more polished. Now, while we're here, I'm just gonna put this out there, because I know all you ladies are wondering, I love shoulder pads. I know, I know, gasp! But here me out, the same way that menswear as womanswear gives a woman an edge of authority and power, so do shoulderpads. They make you look stronger. I love the over sized ones, I love the subtle ones, I love the ones that are bejeweled. I'm all about them. So, get on board. Now back to the bfb... Here are my suggestions as to what to look for when purchasing one, and how to wear it. First off, when you're purchasing it, understand that it should be loose. It's not something that you want to be super fitted. (because then it would be a girlfriend blazer, and at that point, why not just wear your own?) Now, the same rules apply to the boyfriend blazer in the stance department. The bigger your boob sickles are, the higher the stance should be, and just so we're all clear, stance is how high the buttons go up. Most of your options are gonna be either one button or two, but as long as it doesn't look like it's pulling on your boobies, then you're fine. There may be some double-breasted options out there, that are totally fabby, but remember, that if you aren't already thin, double breasted is probably not the way to go, because it will make you look wider. Lastly, look at how long the sleeves are and where the bottom of the jacket hits you. Cropped or scrunched up sleeves are trendier, but for versatility, if you go with one that has full length sleeves, and push them up when you feel like it's that kind of day. If the sleeves are already cropped look for something that falls between mid-forearm and bracelet length. the length of the jacket should be long, but not too long. Anything past fingertip length is a no go. It should ideally hit you just below your hips. Now for those of you in the fashion know, and your hips are your widest body part may be worried about a jacket that hits you there, but fret not, because as long as your boyfriend blazer has shoulderpads that are visually the same with as your hips, you'll end up looking hourglass, not bottom heavy! SNAPS!! Some fun details to look for when shopping for your bfb, are patterns; plaids and checks are a very masc. way to make it even more boyfriendy, and cool, color; a bright color can make it super chic, and buttons; ornate buttons work to make the piece more femme, while big buttons add a more casual tone to the jacket.

keepin it going... by zamills featuring Balmain

Now for styling. More often then not, you're going to want to keep your bfb unbuttoned, that will lend it to the more casual end of the spectrum. Nothing looks more rockstar cool than your bfb with a pair of nice skinny jeans, and a t-shirt. Break out your raybans and you got a cool cat. But the bfb is tots appropriate for the business world too! Menswear is a very strong authoritative look, and pairing your jacket with a pair of wide leg trousers or takes it to a much more work world ready place. It's also great for a night out in your little black dress. It's quite the versatile piece, and I think you should all jump on this band wagon before it's too late!!

boyfriend jackets 4 ways by zamills featuring Alexander McQueen

Now for people with great style!
Of course, the obvious choice for this is Gaga. She is my inspiration, and as one of my old friends noted, "Our Patron Saint," but I decided I'm gonna save her for later, because god knows, I wont be able to stop. Instead, I'm going to talk about one of my friends, in fact, one of the people who inspired me to write this blog; Kristie. Don't tell her. She'll be really embarrassed, and stuff. Now beyond the fact that we share ironic love for many a stupid celeb, I've always admired Kristiekins on her smart clothing choices. She is the prime example of someone who makes clothes work for them. In what can only be described as quirky collegiate, she graces people daily with preppy cardigans, elephant necklaces, prim ruffled blouses, boy shorts and dorky socks. Not to mention her awesome suits!! Call me boring, but my favsies is the black high necked one, especially when she wears it with her skull and crossbones ear rings. In short, Kristie, is a big oozing ball of personal style.

Enough brown nosing!

So also, since it's almost winter, I'm gonna include some coat styles that I like.

choice outerwear by zamills featuring Marc by Marc Jacobs

It's time to wrap this mother up!

So that's my first fashion blog! thanks for reading! I hope you walked away with something worthwhile, and I hope you'll come back and read again. An apology to the gents out there, as mens style is kind of boring, I'll try to fit you in future blogs! GOTTA PEACE! BYEEEEE.